


the first step

by Larissa



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 14:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5379080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larissa/pseuds/Larissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a gun on the ground. The man on the balcony tells her to shoot. Her hands are shaking as she picks it up. What choice does she have?</p><p>An exploration of one of the early missions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the first step

She can hear the raiders talking.

"I'm telling you, man. Let's just get the hell out of here. No reason to hang around and get shot."

They know she's here. Of course they do, they heard her kill the others. (She didn't really kill them. She couldn't have killed them. She hadn't.)

"Stop bein' such a fuckin' pansy. We hold out for the others. Like we're supposed to."

They don't know she's here, listening, crouched behind a wall. 

One of them starts to pace. His footsteps are uneven. There's a tapping of metal against wood. Must be his weapon.

"What are you, deaf? Somebody's out there, shooting the place up. I ain't sittin' around, waiting to die."

She could sneak past them. She doesn't have to kill them. She doesn't have to kill anyone.

"I swear to god, you make a move for that exit, and I'll gut you myself. Now shut your mouth, or we'll never get a drop on this guy."

She inches forward, keeping low. The wall cuts out halfway down the hall. If she stands up, they'll see her.

Slowly. Maybe she can slip past the both of them without being noticed. The one who's pacing seems distracted. If she can just--

A shadow passes before one of the spotlights. The dog.

The raiders are already on edge, ready to shoot at anything than moves. Bullets pepper the wall she's crouched behind as the dog hurls himself towards the nearest raider, snarling. She can't hide, she has to take them down, there's no choice--

Two blasts with the musket and the first goes down. By then the dog has taken down the other.

She doesn't even know which one of them didn't want to fight.

There's more gunfire from the floor above. She knows nothing about the people up there, the ones she’s trying to reach. Maybe they're worse than these raiders. Maybe she's killed them all for nothing.

The dog is whining. It's pawing at the stairs. Maybe it's his owner up there. What a joke that would be. Survived 200 years to return a dog to its owner, killed half a dozen people in the process.

She takes one last look at the corpses and pulls herself up.

The real joke was how easy it had been to kill again.

\---

The rest is a blur. Maybe it's the blow she took. That creature in the street -- deathclaw, they'd called it, and may she never meet one again -- had picked her up and thrown her around like a toy, and she'd been in power armor. 

Until that moment she had never truly understood how it was possible for soldiers in power armor to be killed. Now she had first-hand experience, and wished only for ignorance.

The street is littered with bodies. She can't bear to look as the hapless settlers make their way out of the museum. It doesn't seem real that she was the one who did all that. This is all a dream, and she's still waiting to wake up.

No. She has to make it real somehow.

"You never told me who these people were," she says to Preston. She can tell he's puzzled by the question. "These… raiders. Where did they come from?"

"The Commonwealth is full of gangs," Preston says. "For a lot of people, it's the only way they know to survive."

"That doesn't explain why they were trying to kill you," she says.

"Doesn't it?" Preston gives her a sideways look. "People like them always want more than what they've got. And they don't care what it takes to get it. That's the way things work. It's only groups like the Minutemen that care about protecting the people, instead of taking from them."

He'd said that earlier, too, about the Minutemen. It was one of the hardest things to wrap her head around, on this long, weird day. That somehow, in… whatever year it was now, a relic like the Minutemen had come back to life.

"If that's so," she says, keeping her voice low, "then why are there so few of you?"

"'Cause it's not easy to do the right thing," Preston says. "Most folks are only out for themselves. They don't take the time to care about other people. That's why we need people like you. If you hadn't come along--"

"I'm not the kind of person you want."

"Come on." They're trailing the others, by now, but he waves them ahead. The dog's taken point, keeping an eye on the settlers. "You can't really think that, after what you did for us."

"What I did--" The bodies flash before her eyes again. The raiders. Not hard to call up older memories to go with them.

She shakes her head. "I'm not the kind of person you want," she says again.

For the first time since she stumbled into his world, Preston looks at her -- _really_ looks, instead of seeing the convenient savior he needs to help him out of a tough spot. "You're sure about that?"

"I'm sure."

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." She knows he is, too. Wouldn't have been pushing her so hard if he wasn't so hard up for help. But her problems lie elsewhere, and even if they didn't… she isn't the person he needs. Never will be. "If you change your mind, I hope you'll come visit us in Sanctuary. I hope Mama Murphy's right about the place."

She forces a smile. "It is. In fact, I think you're just what the place needs. Just do me a favor, okay? Take care of Codsworth. Don't worry, he'll be a real help.

Confusion flickers across Preston's face. "You didn't mention you were familiar with the place."

"I used to live there. But it's been a long time. It's not my home anymore."

"Your home?" They've crested the hill now, and the town of Sanctuary is within view. Even in the darkness, it's obvious that the town lies in ruin. Preston looks back at her, not understanding.

Dogmeat is waiting for her at the bridge. Someone's tied a bandanna around his neck. Mama Murphy, probably. The bright color stands out against his fur.

"Good boy," she says, scratching behind his ears. She nods towards the town to Preston. "You should be fine from here."

"All right. Thanks for your help." He pauses. "Don't think I ever caught your name."

She shrugs. "Doesn't matter. I'm nobody."

\---

Codsworth will tell him all about the Brooks family who used to live there, how he doted after all of them. Maybe he'll say something about how Miss Maria appeared again after so many years. Maybe he won't. Codsworth's clearly malfunctioning. Hard to believe he'd made it this long.

Wouldn't matter if the settlers believe him, anyway. As far as she's concerned, Maria Brooks had lived and died right here in Sanctuary Hills.

She can’t bring herself to think about it. Not yet. If she’d known how short their time would be-- if she’d known what was to come--

It doesn’t matter. Maria’s gone. And this… this is her second chance.

Maybe this time she'll get it right.

**Author's Note:**

> The game really doesn't acknowledge that your character is more or less thrown into this world with no warning whatsoever, and while that's characteristic of Fallout in general, there doesn't seem to be any recognition on the game's part that hey, this person just stumbled out of a vault and is thrust into one hell of a situation. This was my way of exploring that.
> 
> (Also I know "The First Step" is a completely different mission but shhh the title worked...)
> 
> This character is further explored in a subsequent fic, [and i on the opposite shore will be](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10701510).


End file.
